The Ethics of Love Spells

Love spells can bring joy and happiness. Mis-used, they can also cause heartache. Is it ethical to use a spell to make someone fall in love with you? It’s a common question, and one I’m asked often. 

The Creation of Love

To answer the question, we must first consider how love comes about when a spell is not involved. 

The chances are, whoever you are, you’ve experienced romantic love at some point in your life. Perhaps you are reading this because you love someone who doesn’t love you back, and you’re thinking about using a spell. How did you fall in love with that person in the first place? Was is something they did, something they said, or simply who they are?

Love comes about in all sorts of different ways. A huge proportion of long-term relationships start at work. It’s easy to see why: spending every day with the same people is a good way to get to know them. Some people meet in bars or clubs, and increasingly people meet on ‘apps’, swiping left and right to signal their interest.

But take a step back from the how, and consider the why. Why are we attracted to some people and not others? After all, everything starts with an initial attraction.


At the start of most relationships, one (or more usually both) parties involved indulge in what social scientists call peacocking. If you’ve ever seen one of these magnificent birds fan their beautiful tails, you’ll understand the term immediately. Peacocking is, essentially, the use of exaggeration in an effort to attract and impress. This isn’t limited to physical attributes, although those are the most common. Trying to be witty or charming or interesting are all forms of peacocking. As is dressing to impress, doing your hair, makeup, or other forms of grooming.

The point is, when we like someone, we usually go out of our way, even if just a little bit, to attract and impress them. We try to make ourselves stand out. We say ‘look at me!’, without actually saying it.

This is all perfectly natural, and happens in almost every species, not just humans.


What’s peacocking got to do with love spells? Well, I’d argue that a love spell is just a shortcut to creating love. It cuts out a lot of the effort and gets straight to the point. It’s kind of like peacocking on steroids.

Of course, the counter argument is that by using a spell, we are not giving the other party any choice in the matter. When we attract someone ‘naturally’, or the traditional way, we have to make an effort, and they have the option to respond or not. When we use a love spell, their options are much more limited, because they are going to fall in love. No ifs or buts, it’s a foregone conclusion.

Free Will

Which brings us to the question of free will. It’s important to understand that no love spell, not mine or anyone else’s, can affect someone’s free will. My spells can, and do, make the subject fall in love with the person who asked for the spell. That is without question. But the subject has to act on that love of their own volition. They can always choose not to.

Now to be clear, that very, very rarely happens. After all, if you love someone, why would you not act on it? In more than 95% of cases, the subject willingly acts on the love they feel because of the spell, and a happy couple is the end result. Everyone is delighted, no harm has been done. Or has it…?

Third Parties

What about if the person the spell was cast on is in another relationship? Married, maybe? Perhaps with kids? What happens then?

Well, everything happens exactly the same. The spell makes them fall in love with whoever asked for it. And almost inevitably, they will follow their heart and act on that love. That means, necessarily, that their existing relationship is going to end. Someone (the soon-to-be-ex) is going to get hurt.

Is that ethical? Only you can decide. Again, there is a question of free will here. The spell created the love, but the subject chooses to act on it. They always have the option to fight their own feelings, though admittedly that’s going to be hard.

Was the existing relationship already doomed? Is the pain of the person asking for the spell deeper, or ‘worse’ than the pain the future-ex is going to feel? In other words, once everything has come out in the wash, is there going to be a net increase or decrease in the amount of happiness in the universe?

That is something that must be decided on a case-by case basis, and it’s why I encourage anyone who is thinking of asking for a spell, to consider the implications carefully before they do so.

Ultimately then, only you can decide if the use of a love spell will be ethical in your particular, unique situation.